What Do You Say When…
What do you say when you’re sad or have something on your mind and people ask you ‘Are you OK?‘ ?
This is the question Kel posted on Teahouse* this week. And most of the answers were along the lines of ‘I don’t say anything’ or ‘I say I’m fine‘.
So I sat at my desk and thought about it. What do I tend to do? And here’s my answer.
Until 2003, I followed the French custom of saying:
- ‘Ca va?’
- ‘Ca va.’
Which can be translated as:
- ‘You Ok?’
- ‘Yeah, I’m OK.’
And I’d say I’m OK even when I clearly was not OK at all. This got me into a bit of trouble when people discovered I was sick. I was either told that I was lying (because I’d always replied I’m OK, so I surely must be OK), or I’d get a serious ticking off for not trusting them, not sharing my problems, being a stranger to friends, bla bla bla.
But they were right. I owed them the truth.
And when they asked how I was, they truly wanted to know how I was doing.
So now when someone asks me how I am, I try to be honest. It’s not attention seeking at all. It’s simply living by the truth. I don’t go into detail every time though! lol Of course not. But I assume that if someone asks, then they want to know. And if they don’t like my answer, then they don’t have to ask again. As simple as that. 
Tell me, what do you say when you’re not feeling great and someone asks you how you’re doing?
April 21st, 2009 at 11:14
I usually just say ‘I’m OK’ too, mostly because I don’t want to worry other people with my problems. Especially when I’m in a bad mood, I know what’s bothering my today isn’t going to bother me tomorrow, and its best left unsaid. I do, however, see some benefit it straying away from the “I’m fine” norm when somethings really bothering me. Something I, and probably a lot of others, should work on.
April 22nd, 2009 at 17:09
just passing by.
i always say im ok to avoid explanations/confrontations…
April 23rd, 2009 at 06:55
I agree, it is fair to tell your friends the truth if that’s what they really wanted to know. Sometimes I feel kinda bad for blocking my friends out, but I usually just keep to myself and explaining my personal problems makes me feel awkward. :/ That scenario doesn’t happen very often though, for me. I try to keep those emotions under a mask…it’s easier that way.
April 26th, 2009 at 06:19
Hey there Jo
Hehe I take French so here goes: (I hope this is right!)
Ca va?
- Ca va?
- Ca va bien, merci
I usually say this so they get to think of how they feel before they can even interpret if what I’m saying is true. lol XD
So how have you been?
April 29th, 2009 at 04:06
Thank youuuu Jo!
(love)
May 1st, 2009 at 08:54
[c+p] I’ve moved! Please change my link to http://fluffytoast.info ! Thank you!
May 1st, 2009 at 22:17
(copy+paste) Hello there, I moved
my new link is vi.fluffytoast.info!
May 2nd, 2009 at 07:01
I can’t believe you remembered my birthday- it just shows what an amazing friend you are. You’ve always been so sweet to me and you’ve kept in touch even when I’d abandoned the pixel world for a while. Thanks for always being there for me when I needed someone to talk to! ^_^ I hope this year will be an amazing year for you, too! *Huge hugs*
To answer your blog question, I normally lie when I’m not okay, unless it’s Jimmy I’m talking to; he always knows when I’m not telling the truth so now I just don’t bother and if I’m not okay, I tell him.
May 3rd, 2009 at 01:21
(copy+paste) Please pick up your affie gift at my front page! Thanks
May 5th, 2009 at 16:32
Good luck finding a good replacement computer. My computer has had a its share of problems too and it’s only about 2.5 years old. D: My dad thinks he has found the problem with our internet, a loose cable to our modem… It’s working okay for now.
Thank you for the compliment on my layout! I did take it down after about a day because of a serious coding problem I needed to fix. I’m glad you like the new look! I tried to make it clean and spring feeling. ^U^
May 5th, 2009 at 22:33
hi Joanna!
For me, I’d say, ‘I’m alright’ with a reluctant note just to let other people know that I’m NOT okay. I don’t like saying it directly because..uh, come to think of it, I don’t know why I don’t like saying ‘I’m not okay’. Hahaha~~